So you want to be a vet tech....

I think that pamphlets/websites which display information about vet tech schools/what you learn/what you eventally will do give the wrong impression.

Or at least, they do not show you what being a vet tech really entails.

So, before you get all excited about entering the noble profession of veterinarian medicine, please consider the following:

* You will probably be peed on on a daily basis. Occasionally, you won't have time to go home over lunch and change, so you're going to just have to smell like urine all day.

* You will also be pooped on. Again, this can be an almost daily occurance. And, sometimes it will be horrible diarrhea, occasionally with blood in it. Nice.

* Your co-workers will probably laugh at you when you get pooped and peed on. They will make fun of you. Do not expect any sympathy. Laugh with them and at yourself.

* You will have to express anal glands. Now that, in and of itself, is fine. What is not fine, however, is when it squirts into your face, instead of the paper towel. And what is even worse, is when it goes in your mouth. You will be able to taste it the rest of the day, no matter how much you rinse your mouth out or spit. Keep your mouth closed when expressing anal glands. I would say keep your eyes closed too, but seeing what you're doing is always helpful. There is no worse smell in the world than anal sac exudate. When it squirts on you, keep in mind that you will get sarcastic comments from your co-workers and boss for the rest of the day.

* You really are never done with work. Do not fall into the pit of thinking "It's Labor Day on Monday!!! That means I only have to work three days next week!!! (since you already get Fridays off). And I get a three day weekend!" Oh no. You actually will have to come in Saturday evening to do kennels since the assistant who was supposed to work Sat - Wednesday was just fired. You will then get to help with a C-Section and have fun assisting with the delivery of 11 puppies. Sunday you will go in to help feed those puppies since the mom will be quite sick. Monday you will go in for a few hours to do random catch-up things, and then you will do kennels that night. Tuesday and Wednesday you will work your normal shift, but you also will have to stay late because, again, you have to do kennels. But, you will enjoy doing all the above because newborn puppies are just too cute, plus you love your co-workers, so it's fun being with them.

*You will have to clean up piles of vomit. You will see piles of vomit daily, especially on surgery days. The morphine you give all dogs as a premed will make them all throw up and occasionally stuff comes out the other end too. So be prepared to clean up piles of vomit. Also, be prepared to try and guess what that animal ate for breakfast. Hmm. . . Lucky charms?? Sometimes you can't quite tell... Thankfully, you should have a tech assistant who will be the main vomit picker upper. However, be prepared to help clean up.

*If you make the mistake 2 years ago of bringing home the mass that was removed from your rat so you can show your roommate, be prepared to have your boss tease you constantly thereafter, asking if you would like to keep the uterus, mass, dewclaws, tails, testicles, etc.... Because she seems to think that you have a collection at home. Trying to protest and say that red and brown is NOT your color scheme so the body parts just wouldn't match with your cream, brown, and blue decor scheme doesn't work. She will still tease you. In fact, if you go on vacation for 1 week, upon your return you just might find dewclaws, tails, and some leftovers from a cat neuter in your box. Just to help that collection along. A necklace or two, made from leftover suture and some body parts might make their way to you. What sweet, considerate co-workers you have.

*You MUST have a sense of humor. A sarcastic one is the best, since you have so many things happen at work that are just begging for a sarcastic response. Do not take everything your co-workers say at face value. In fact, don't take anything they say at face value. They're probably just sarcastic. You will go home with hurt feelings every night if you don't have a sense of humor.

* You will have scars all over your arms. But you will be proud of them. They are your 'battle scars'. However, when they are fresh and right where your watch is suppose to be, they will be a pain. You might even have long ones down your neck that are rather inconvenient when you want to turn your head. However, when your own dog give those to you because you were trying to do a nail trim, they aren't quite as cool. You will probably have bruises all over. Again, think of them as battle wounds.

*You will have to give baths to cats. Some nice, some not so nice. Generally speaking, cats don't care for water.

*You will have to deal with many nasty cats. The kind that leap at you, and scratch, and bite. In spite of this, you will still have to pill them, give them fluids, etc. You will become brave, reaching in quickly to grab that scruff and then you will not release it. Even when your hand cramps up. Even when the cat is screaming bloody murder. Even when you're all scratched up. Because you don't want your co-worker to be hurt. Occasionally you may have to let the cat go, because he is shredding your arm. Then you get to have fun trying to catch a mean cat in the treatment area of your clinic. If you are fortunate, you will have a co-worker who finds it fun to wrestle mean cats. Then you won't have to do it much.

There are many other things that vet techs get to deal with. After all, animals are only part of our job. There are the clients as well.....

But I don't want to scare you out of becoming a vet tech. It really is an awesome job. As long as you don't mind bodily fluids, bad smells, sarcasm, blood, screaming, and long hours. I love it.